Same Old Tune

2008-06-30T05:25:00.000-07:00

Coalesce

2008-06-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

This is Mural i did on my room Wall.. its basically a interpretation of the original artwork done my U.S.A. artist Derek Hess for the Hardcore band Coalesce..but i did it my way... was kinda fun only took me 30 mins to finish it..

2008-06-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

2008-05-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Terrorism is the New Black

2008-05-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

seems like fashionable... people are sick..
fucked up world..

i sue to be a part of a group that believed in an idelealistic truth. Sadly
i got nothing but disappointment, you guys fucking failed me.

Anyways now i see how i have i moved on so far the further i am from you people the better of i am.

Anwyays was good meeting up With Ms Debbie Cai, the old friends know u the best.

Jerome

You Suck

2008-05-14T02:35:00.000-07:00

Mavis You suck

I am Mr Boring Man

2008-05-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

Last saturday a girl said iw as boring. haha was`nt the first time, thought it would`nt affect me BUt guess it did in the end.

The world is indeed , fucking bais and ignorant.

:)

2008-05-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

Action Reaction went better than i thought. Its great seeing new bands like Creek wither doing so well on their first show, the crowd was definately floored by their sound.

Sky in Euphoria will be continuing for a while more i suppose. Like any band there are conflicts and disagreements. But iguess for the past 6 years its been a really good ride.
Jon, Symon, Daren and Shaun. If there will come a day where we can`t be friends anymore for what ever sadistic reason God plans, thank you boys for tolerating an ass wipe like me. Many times i do not feel competant to lead, i wish i was a better man. I have learned so much about life and how to live it through your jokes, stories, Problems even personal attacks. For this i am grateful to my band boys. You guys are cool.

Friends are hard to come by and they deplete as u grow older, i guess even your charm dies out after a while and u become this boring guy that has just been around the block. Well i guess its been an honour having been in the prescence fo talented people and even fucked up ones.

At least there are people who enjoy your company, i`m trying to change. But iguess i found out teh reason why i`m always alone..cuz i`m fucked up, friends who take sudden shots at me i realise why, i guess their tolerance for an annoying individual like me wears out. and being nice is just pretending for them, i understand if i could i`d take myself out too.

I hope God stops being unfair and grants me a break with my Job situation soon, life is already shitty enough. Pls don`t take away oppotunities to earn money at least.

yep i`m going to bed but i noe i`ll prolly just stay up the whole night distracted by insomia.
Night.

This will be over soon

2008-05-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

I Lavish on short term memory

Slowing down with every step to raise up a banner

As my mind is Caught in a moment

with cacoon like appearance, Something more burns in my veins

Till i Plunge into wide open spaces

i`m Waiting for a greater meaning than Pockets of time wasted on you

New Art Part 2

2008-05-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

After meeting a client thsi what i have come up with.. hope this rawks!

Mandatory

2008-05-01T11:41:00.001-07:00

I am sailing away taking in the rawness of the air that chokes my lungs
The thrust of mighty waves brings my vessel further ahead in a direction
that i have left to chance
gloved with folded arms like a bird perched to rest
While the heat from burnt bridges still warm against my back
A pile salt i`ll be, should i look back.

Another milestone is not too far away, everytime my heart breaks
no grace is enough to give me a peace of mind

No more will i need to care. i`ll just have to set my eyes beyond
a horizon till the sun comes up to kill the rawness of the air

New Art

2008-05-01T01:24:00.000-07:00

A draft design for a house in Tthe east coast. Hope i get this project deal quite a bit of cash.

Despondent

2008-04-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

2 Months before i`m out of a job, company closing down. haha Well so much for having high hopes. Got to look for another Job i suppose. But i guess i don`t feel like i wasted my time, it was good while it lasted. Like almost anything or any situation it Could have been much better, ya i have been overworked, looked down on and even laughed at. But who has`nt been hur? Time for me to move on and hopefully, really i hope something better comes my way. Listening to Taking Back Sunday`s Divine intervention prolly the only song they have written that i really like.

This year has`nt been so bad, despite financially being super broke. I guess its been ok, there are times i feel like its really too hard to go on. No shit Life is a bitch, friendships are never timeless. Much less one`s moment of happiness, gotta take in the good with the bad.

Last whole week i was working on a magazine layout almost every night i was up till 7 am. And in the end i failed everyone the designs were wrongly layout the bleeds were off. Quite sick of screwing up, its ok i guess its one of those things. I`m gonna go watch Iron Man this wednesday alone, i really don`t know who to ask out with me. One day i`ll have a group of friends to hang out with i don`t know when. haha...

DIVINE INTERVENTION - Taking Back Sunday

Despondent, distracted,You're vicious and romantic;These are a few of my

favorite things.All of those flavors andThis is what you choose:Past the blues,

past the blues,And on to something new,Something real, make it timeless,

An act of God and nothing less will be accepted.So if you're calling me out,

Then count me out.Yeah, we're stubborn and melodramatic,A real class act.

You see, I know a few of your favorite things.Five in the morning

and all comes out pouring,Love, out the same way in.Something real, make it

timeless,An act of God and nothing less will be accepted.Now if you're calling me

out,Then count me out.Something real, make it timeless,An act of God and

nothing less will be accepted.I said real, make it timeless,An act of God and

nothing less will be accepted.Now if you're calling me out,Then count me out.

Mm, mm, mm, mm.Mm, mm, mmmm.

Iron Man

2008-04-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone wanna go watch Iron Man?

2008-04-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

Paint draw smoke and die

2008-04-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

New work

Sculptures???

2008-04-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Some Sketches for a sculpture installation i`m doing. tommorrow is my proposal... sigh hop eit works out havent slept. been drawing my ass off.

Silent Night

2008-04-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

Tonight i am painting, it eems i am at ease after the longest of times.
Smoking like there is no tommorrow at the same time, while listening to silent night hahaha
Yesterday Sky in euphoria prolly had one of the BEST jam sessions ever! finally we are moving forward musically, i feel honuored jamming with you boys. You guys rock.

Have so much to do man, damn. But i guess it beats thinking too much about useless people and useless shit. After i paint i`m gonan walk home from teh gallery its about 1hr 30mins walk, i enjoy long walks like these.

Maybe one day my life will turn around for the better. Despite the pile of shit i gotten myself into. btw the movie American Gangster is good! of course fails in comparison to the classic scar face.

And to the dear one waiting 8 days now, i hope you get what you want in this life. I guess i was`nt what you were looking for. Ok i better stop here before i get negative AGAIN!

Trying to cheer up, life is tough for us all. I`m just one of those people who are never quite strong and smart enough to move on, how does one forget? how does one just let go?
I realise thise morning and i look at the glorious mess of a room i have. I Keep many many things that i dun need. I guess its like me deep inside, i keep all these things and i cannot reconcile the reasons why i never get rid of them, sentimental? i doubt it.. mental more like it. HA!

Weekend is coming in a way i don`t look forward to it. Spend most of my weekends alone anyways. i`ll prolly come back to teh gallery to work. Life haaaii........ for what are?
I said a prayer today YES! SURPRISE! i asked God if his love is truely unconditional that he can help a scumbag like me out, because i really need a miracle. Never thought i woul dbe saying a prayer while smoking away, gone are the days when i would be studying the bible, praying hard for the people i cared for. I once believed i had a calling to preach Gods word, to defend the sheep and to love those whom have strayed. in the words of Nirvana " Jesus don`t want me for a sunbeam."
So i tonight i`ll rest on my bed, just trying to be happy that the few that are in my oikos are doing ok. No doing alright or ok is really more than specifics, its a wholistic perspective. Balance.

Who will stand on the other end of the scale to bring about balance in my life, the cross is heavy. maybe it might just be the right weight for my sins, am i thinking of atonement? forgiveness? love? i don`t know all i know and all i am really praying for beyond what i feel now, is to die.

2008-04-05T14:24:00.000-07:00

" YA RIGHT! GOD DOES`NT PLAY FAVOURITE?! HA!

Clare! i know you read this..:) i really really appreciate you... your sweet and really patient with me... your a beautiful soul... :) would you kill me? if i told you i feel like i want to drop that $ 20 000 project? i`ll explain in person....But really you are cool... thank you for always being interested in what i do and who i am.... Hard these days to have people who actually not just talk about how they feel about you but people who actually know how to actually to just do a simple "how r u?" ...... since your prolly the only one thats continuing reading my blogspot.. haha
its like i`ll talk to uindirectly here ok? hahaha i really do think your really talented... and in a way i wish i could be as good as you at what you do....... yea thats some honesty for you... i`ll read the book... i promise....k...

Yea tough week, i`m tired, fustrated, hungry most of the time, restless, lonely.. damn fucking lonely man... shit man i really give up.. no one ever calls... sometimes i wanna throw my phone away. Other than for work purposes... hahah wow like bloody robot i am..... Anyways i gotta get up early for work on a sunday! ya thats my life... so ya i dun go to church so burn me at a stick will ya? fucking self righteous bastards.. ok i get it. i`m going to hell! wow u can celebrate now.. hooray! Apart from this rant, next time someone makes an appointment with me, if i call you and don`t fucking pick up 30 mins before i meet u i`m going home. don`t waste my time...SICK OF BE TAKEN FOR A RIDE.. Anyways i best get to bed....
looking forward to 5pm tommorrow when i can finally come home and sleep.... fucking hell...

FUCK YOUR INDIE ROCK AND FUCK YOUR ART! IN MY BOOK YOUR SHIT!

2008-03-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

Another day, so meaningless. Ever since i walked away from the "call" , i find myself not knowing who i am anymore. No amount of alcohol ciggerettes help, i know many old friends don`t recognise me anymore. Hell i don`t even recognise myself, was`nt i suppose to be something like a servant for God or something. I don`t know anymore, what i believe today is i have failed and its sure is hell obvious i`m not welcomed back.

I` ve tried to say goodbye to these old friends in my own way, too bad most of them just don`t get it or rather don`t give a shit. I would`nt want to think i did`nt mean anything to any of them i would like to think i did. People come and people go, thats the way its always been and will always be for us relational creatures.

At work everyday, my heart opens a new wound with every moment i realise i am not good enough for a certain someone. I really do HATE myself, i think i should say good bye to this one she deserves much better than the piece of trash i am. I really am Trash, now an awful truth hangs loose off my tongue. I keep breaking peoples trust and worst i break their hearts. Sometimes just sometimes before i go to bed i pray i never wake up the next day, each day i feel so fucking misunderstood.

I have forgiven you guys who have talked a bunch of crap about me behind my back. Guess you guys prolly have a better analogy of who i am and maybe i`m really am that awful person. Yea you can say, Vodka is a Jerome Magnet. You can say, that you don`t know what i do with the girls at a certain place. You can say i binge off other peoples purchased drinks. You can say i`m at fault for the way my band is today. You can also fucking blame me for the polar fucking ice caps melting if you have to. Why not accuse me of fucking conspiring with Mr selamat while you guys are at it. I fucking hate you fucking ELITIST BASTARDS! You group up and you take people down one by one with your glare, with your pretencious artistic tunes you tear down the very fabric of the reason why people are lost, why people are just searching. So if you FUCKING ELISTIST BASTARDS have the answer why don`t you share it. Maybe you know what, the very same people you frown on are the very same people you really are yourselves.

FUCK YOUR INDIE ROCK AND FUCK YOUR ART! IN MY BOOK YOUR SHIT!

Jonathan James Hemsley and Symon Fong, you guys i`ll always trust. To a certain "best" friend, you don`t even have the guts to catch me now do you? One day i won`t have to put up with this shit anymore and i know tha day is soon. I will NOT BE MISSED, I`LL BE HATED , I`LL BE FURTHER MISUNDERSTOOD, I`LL BE WRITTEN OFF and my fucking existen would`nt have fucking mattered not for a fucking second. So really FUCK YOU.

I always thought life will get better guess not, today my mumt ellsme resigned her job, i just said "whats new?". And before she can explain how she found anotehr job, i just said, " i don`t care i don`t even want to know its not my problem."

And yes if anyone who is actually reading this junk, yes your right i prolly have daddy issues. that fuck head piece of indian scum, lazy as a drunk mexican that lost his house keys on his way home after a night of drinking. If i `m at his funeral it will be a very very very odd day... thats if don`t go before he does... i think i should go before he does just to fucking break his heart into 2 .

Oh ok maybe your wondering while you read this, " this does`nt sound like Jerome?" well fuck you ok, don`t wait for a fair weather than pretend like your my friend. Truely wish i was dead.
FUCK THIS WORLD, AND FUCK YOU ALETHEIA YOU FUCKING LIAR. goodnight.

Finsh it Up

2008-03-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

Fail your every wish
the setting of your fixation on me
is far from reasonable excuse
i am gulty as i am accused
Of gunning for a point
Stirring my finger tips in
miry clay
The marks are uncanny
if you could see how this colour matches
the shade of your shadow
You find your own reflection an image
of your regret
Jaded you`ll hate yourself
but you will never be able to find me
when you do

2008-03-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

FUCK

Wooden doors with broken knobs

2008-03-15T01:03:00.000-07:00

Shrud you are not living for a life of lies
It could take more competition to climb
there is a tide against your advance
It will wear your limbs out
In my hands i hold a pool of tranquility
A drop of water falls from the window
to my soul
The surface resounds a new song for you
Deflection like how i embrace a new rejection
My meaning flung into an open empty space
i never want to exist another day with out you

YOU

2008-03-09T10:22:00.000-07:00

At the end of today, just before bedtime.
The weeks plagued with much strife paralyses my soul and i admit my tiredness.

I am hung by my ankles, with my fingers scratching the surface of green pasture. Everything is incomplete and my dreams are out of reach.

Tonight will never mean more to me than last night, last night where in form i was closer to her.
Now with each day she drifts away.

She hits me with her tantrums, she snubs me with her arrogance, she uses me for her convieniance, she cares only for her comfort, she is afraid.

I`ll lay now on shards from broken picture frames, may this pain come from God`s pruning.
i`m biting my tongue. I dare not say it all, i`ll miss you.

RESTRICTED AND OUT OF BOUNDS

2007-10-27T00:42:00.000-07:00

Many people ask me why i never ask for help?
well really sometimes when u ask for help your met with more judgement
from so called samaritans of good favour, so up their own ass
with self righteous bullshit.
Why help only to find your so fustrated by how much lack the damsel has
Why help if a persons weaknesses only cause you to anger
Why help when you know you `ll lose a friend forever
Today someone asked me " what have you been up to and how are you?"

so i said " There is a change in my life, a new JOb and a new social circle. "

And thi person goes, " what was the trigger for this change in your social circle?"

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!!! goodness..... so fucking STUPID!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
New job means new friends la DUMB ASS!