FUCK YOUR INDIE ROCK AND FUCK YOUR ART! IN MY BOOK YOUR SHIT!

Another day, so meaningless. Ever since i walked away from the "call" , i find myself not knowing who i am anymore. No amount of alcohol ciggerettes help, i know many old friends don`t recognise me anymore. Hell i don`t even recognise myself, was`nt i suppose to be something like a servant for God or something. I don`t know anymore, what i believe today is i have failed and its sure is hell obvious i`m not welcomed back.

I` ve tried to say goodbye to these old friends in my own way, too bad most of them just don`t get it or rather don`t give a shit. I would`nt want to think i did`nt mean anything to any of them i would like to think i did. People come and people go, thats the way its always been and will always be for us relational creatures.

At work everyday, my heart opens a new wound with every moment i realise i am not good enough for a certain someone. I really do HATE myself, i think i should say good bye to this one she deserves much better than the piece of trash i am. I really am Trash, now an awful truth hangs loose off my tongue. I keep breaking peoples trust and worst i break their hearts. Sometimes just sometimes before i go to bed i pray i never wake up the next day, each day i feel so fucking misunderstood.

I have forgiven you guys who have talked a bunch of crap about me behind my back. Guess you guys prolly have a better analogy of who i am and maybe i`m really am that awful person. Yea you can say, Vodka is a Jerome Magnet. You can say, that you don`t know what i do with the girls at a certain place. You can say i binge off other peoples purchased drinks. You can say i`m at fault for the way my band is today. You can also fucking blame me for the polar fucking ice caps melting if you have to. Why not accuse me of fucking conspiring with Mr selamat while you guys are at it. I fucking hate you fucking ELITIST BASTARDS! You group up and you take people down one by one with your glare, with your pretencious artistic tunes you tear down the very fabric of the reason why people are lost, why people are just searching. So if you FUCKING ELISTIST BASTARDS have the answer why don`t you share it. Maybe you know what, the very same people you frown on are the very same people you really are yourselves.

FUCK YOUR INDIE ROCK AND FUCK YOUR ART! IN MY BOOK YOUR SHIT!

Jonathan James Hemsley and Symon Fong, you guys i`ll always trust. To a certain "best" friend, you don`t even have the guts to catch me now do you? One day i won`t have to put up with this shit anymore and i know tha day is soon. I will NOT BE MISSED, I`LL BE HATED , I`LL BE FURTHER MISUNDERSTOOD, I`LL BE WRITTEN OFF and my fucking existen would`nt have fucking mattered not for a fucking second. So really FUCK YOU.


I always thought life will get better guess not, today my mumt ellsme resigned her job, i just said "whats new?". And before she can explain how she found anotehr job, i just said, " i don`t care i don`t even want to know its not my problem."


And yes if anyone who is actually reading this junk, yes your right i prolly have daddy issues. that fuck head piece of indian scum, lazy as a drunk mexican that lost his house keys on his way home after a night of drinking. If i `m at his funeral it will be a very very very odd day... thats if don`t go before he does... i think i should go before he does just to fucking break his heart into 2 .

Oh ok maybe your wondering while you read this, " this does`nt sound like Jerome?" well fuck you ok, don`t wait for a fair weather than pretend like your my friend. Truely wish i was dead.
FUCK THIS WORLD, AND FUCK YOU ALETHEIA YOU FUCKING LIAR. goodnight.

Finsh it Up

Fail your every wish
the setting of your fixation on me
is far from reasonable excuse
i am gulty as i am accused
Of gunning for a point
Stirring my finger tips in
miry clay
The marks are uncanny
if you could see how this colour matches
the shade of your shadow
You find your own reflection an image
of your regret
Jaded you`ll hate yourself
but you will never be able to find me
when you do

FUCK

Wooden doors with broken knobs

Shrud you are not living for a life of lies
It could take more competition to climb
there is a tide against your advance
It will wear your limbs out
In my hands i hold a pool of tranquility
A drop of water falls from the window
to my soul
The surface resounds a new song for you
Deflection like how i embrace a new rejection
My meaning flung into an open empty space
i never want to exist another day with out you

YOU

At the end of today, just before bedtime.
The weeks plagued with much strife paralyses my soul and i admit my tiredness.

I am hung by my ankles, with my fingers scratching the surface of green pasture. Everything is incomplete and my dreams are out of reach.

Tonight will never mean more to me than last night, last night where in form i was closer to her.
Now with each day she drifts away.

She hits me with her tantrums, she snubs me with her arrogance, she uses me for her convieniance, she cares only for her comfort, she is afraid.

I`ll lay now on shards from broken picture frames, may this pain come from God`s pruning.
i`m biting my tongue. I dare not say it all, i`ll miss you.

RESTRICTED AND OUT OF BOUNDS

Many people ask me why i never ask for help?
well really sometimes when u ask for help your met with more judgement
from so called samaritans of good favour, so up their own ass
with self righteous bullshit.
Why help only to find your so fustrated by how much lack the damsel has
Why help if a persons weaknesses only cause you to anger
Why help when you know you `ll lose a friend forever
Today someone asked me " what have you been up to and how are you?"

so i said " There is a change in my life, a new JOb and a new social circle. "

And thi person goes, " what was the trigger for this change in your social circle?"

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!!! goodness..... so fucking STUPID!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
New job means new friends la DUMB ASS!

I should try to forget
Having you is bigger
I should try to regret
Having you is better

When All else fails you
and i
I rest a smile on your forehead
Hurt will watch you grow
With you i will not have known
I love you

How its gonna be?

Work for a week, i find everything i always wanted to have in arms reach
yet i fumble and i know i`m not like most not that i`m any more special
My mind is always weak and i always hear these voices that tell me i`m gonna fail
I don`t know who i can trust anymore
Show me a friend some time
someone i can really trust
there is more to thise life than i initially percieved
more to this journey it is not over...
i thought to myself if i were to die today would i regret anything
i would prolly but my life has been ok... cosidering how fucked up life is for everyone anyway..
ok i`m no one to speak so generically about everyone
but seriously my faith in God in Jesus is so weak now
i cling onto only a simple prayer i say on my way to work

am i angry? yes i am
am i sad? yes i am
am i gonna give up? i don`t ahve a choicwe but to move on
and i will move on....as heavy as these baggages are i have to
I do`nt wnat anythign to do with people who only speak of themsleves
piss off please leave me alone i`m gonna get used to to going homeafter work and playing guitar
what a nerd i am watching spiderman and playing my guitar shit!
no i noe when i`m durnk isay stupid shit like ho whot i think i am... but really i noe am not
i`m insecure i`m jaded i`m wasted
I`M SO FUCKING SICK!! OF GIRLS FUCKING TELLING ME SHIT AND ISSUES THEY HAVE WITH THEIR BF!!! PLS STOP IT!! ITS ALWAYS THE SAME OL SHIT!!
i seriosuly dun have time for that seriously fuck it... can`t deal with your bf fuck it dun come whinning to me...CB


i am drinking and i am smoking..... oh well like anyone actually read s this! which is prolly good cuz in the end you only have yourself

Nothing sets me apart

Hollow you surround
I`d venture a little more
but i am afraid
You might pull me in with that gaze
Luring me, my desire pasted with greed
Could my plea be anymore pretencious
Nothing sets me apart
The same as my enemies
The same as the things i hate
i have become them

The common advocation for the correct
Beckons me, Tempts me
And i reply with utmost bitterness
The will be no remorse or a need to explain
my actions
I`ll be drenched in your tears
For is`nt love what you feared

Jerome

PERFORMING

There comes a time
2 mins to slide a piece metal in my hand
my throat opens up
and i belt
like my life depended on it
an addict to chaos
i can`t slow down
all i feel is all thats infront of me
its all a blur
its all a show
its all for nothing
if i don`t mean every single second of it
So feel this five folded fist
This mouth won`t remain shut
I`ll break this silence once and for all

MURAL AT YOUTH CENTRE

yesterday Charlene and i did an awesome mural painting at the youth centre in orchard road. We kinda smoked our way through the whole process, BUT! WE NAILED IT! the mural look so yummy like creamy icing on a cake, like something right out of an alice in wonderland old school childrens book! check it out! --- >

UnDone

i am unsteady

are you real

i dance along an edge

this is a threat to my very existence

hold my head up high

i jump

but i`ll never land

a bed of roses

with blood stained sheets

my love

everything has come undone

This night tells me

The streaks of light in the sky

Assure us of glorious ascend

So cold so alone is this very place

Called My sanctuary

Or has my mind taken reality too far

In here my dreams surround everything

And on these clouds I`m sure

That all of my baggage is not my burden to carry anymore

So ordinary am I not a stranger to The past that

hangs over me, like halos on angels

a yearning buries its hope in the ground

To be free and to be whole again

with every shadow i can hear yout breathing

with each hint of glory I know your near me

if this is the new moon i`d rather burn in the sun

Insomia

Insomia Insomia all because i miss you
Every monday night i don`t sleep its becoming so predictable

i`m praying for you still

GOD GIVE ME A BREAK!

I normally don`t post anything personal here besides my own art work..
BUt i really need to rant now..

these past 6 months has been nothing but a bitch, yes a bitch despite having met many awesome people. I realise deep inside i am still the same ol kid still searching for love. I look for it in the wrong places, recently i have had my heart dragged through a blood smeared nail pool.. my business partner backstabbed me, my ex gf turned out to be a fucking liar, lost my bestfriend, my boss is thinking of firing me, lost $ 20 000, the girl of my dreams just is`nt interested in me. So please give one good reason why i sould leave mylife in the mercy of a knife. LOSERVILLE IS WHERE I LIVE MAN! GOD GIVE ME A BREAK!! HELP!!

25 years old this year, no ambition, no money, no luck, no love, no looks. I should really becom a monk, since no one really wants to be with me anyways. Yes lame, i am lame so fucking lame i should take part in the handicapped olympics, something is seriously wrong with me man. Maybe i was dropped on my head when i was given birth to, i seriously dun think i can make it anymore. Whatis hope? fabrication? i really wonder is this concept a crutch for the wounded and afflicted. Jesus if your real than save me, if you have any use of me of this useless piece of crap than i guess you know how to use me. If not just end my life, i`m a waste of space. a BIG FUCK UP.

some new owrk i did in progress titled: She said Hello