I normally don`t post anything personal here besides my own art work..
BUt i really need to rant now..
these past 6 months has been nothing but a bitch, yes a bitch despite having met many awesome people. I realise deep inside i am still the same ol kid still searching for love. I look for it in the wrong places, recently i have had my heart dragged through a blood smeared nail pool.. my business partner backstabbed me, my ex gf turned out to be a fucking liar, lost my bestfriend, my boss is thinking of firing me, lost $ 20 000, the girl of my dreams just is`nt interested in me. So please give one good reason why i sould leave mylife in the mercy of a knife. LOSERVILLE IS WHERE I LIVE MAN! GOD GIVE ME A BREAK!! HELP!!
25 years old this year, no ambition, no money, no luck, no love, no looks. I should really becom a monk, since no one really wants to be with me anyways. Yes lame, i am lame so fucking lame i should take part in the handicapped olympics, something is seriously wrong with me man. Maybe i was dropped on my head when i was given birth to, i seriously dun think i can make it anymore. Whatis hope? fabrication? i really wonder is this concept a crutch for the wounded and afflicted. Jesus if your real than save me, if you have any use of me of this useless piece of crap than i guess you know how to use me. If not just end my life, i`m a waste of space. a BIG FUCK UP.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
whoa dude u power lah! i bitch a lot too cos i have to let it out! i can identify with u on lotsa things there u just listed. well i dunno if it'd help but yeah i'm here if u need to bitch or talk cock. past shit is past shit yeah.
Hi Jerome,
You don't know me, but I feel the need to say something to encourage you after reading your post. I just stumbled upon your blog "accidentally" (the quotation marks are there to underline that I don't believe in accidents, so...) I am just like you are am going through some of the worst time in my life, sitting here wondering when this nightmare will be over and I can begin the beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring life I've always dreamed of. This year my father had died, officially concluding the deceased list of all immediate family members who cared/loved for me. I have some nasty relatives who haven't called me once after this happened, to show me kind of that I have o other family. My carrier is in the pooper. I owe a shit load of money to a bunch of places including the government. The love of my life has left to "find himself", I had people tell me off, backstab and rob me in the midst of my grief with no inclination at grace..I mean I don't want to bore you with a sob story here, I just want to show you that even though you might not be feeling so hot right now, what you're dealing with is very human and very life given and there are a lot of people out there who can identify with your feelings. Subsequently, you are NOT a loser! A loser is someone who does nothing, a coward who just rolls along with life, not being proactive to find out HOW he can change it. There's nothing wrong with you, just let all of these incredible trial to teach you life lessons and to shape your character, so you can become an even more amazing person that you are right now! And you are an amazing, incredible person Jerome, know why? Because there's no one on this entire planet ever in history that is just like you and that goes for every one born! We are all made unique, with a special "something" that no one else has! You just have to look inside yourself and listen to find -YOU! Listen to your inner voice and write down everything that YOU want, one by one and then start doing one thing a day to get to those goals and gain confidence in your desires.
...to be continued...
..continued
You have mentioned Jesus in this post. Jerome, I'm sure you've heard this before, but He IS real! Personally if I didn't have a relationship with Jesus, I would not be alive right now. Before giving my life to God I was an internal mess, with no peace, lacking confidence, cowardly, fearful about my appearances to the world and lonely (an internal loneliness that cannot be filled with any amount of love). One day I just couldn't take it anymore and I just yelled at God -"If you're there, please show Yourself to me, show me that you're real, please help me!" And you know what - He did! He is real and He loves us! First what He gives you is internal peace and a feeling of love that never leaves you! Because you have this new found strength in Him (Christ) you can start building your life "to matter", to have a purpose, and believe me He will change everything over in your life and will give you a new life because the power of God is all consuming, meaning every area in your life - professional, personal, etc. is going to be renewed and given a whole new purpose. He will give you such strength to do awesome things that people will take notice. Believe me, it's worth it!
Like right now, even though I was wondering why my carrier isn't going anywhere at this point, I realized - man! I don't really want to do what I'm doing anymore, I'm sooo tired and fed up with corporate politics and people in suits, and to be quite frank I feel like a hamster trapped in a box, in a 9-5 job! I want to be working on humanitarian/social causes, outreach to people who would really appreciate it, those who have less. I want to also have my own business doing this and that. And you know, right now I've started something that is going so well. God is really prospering me right now And most of all in the midst of all of my trials I have peace! I am not scared, I don't feel worried, I wake up every day and take on that day's battles/joys 1 day at a time. It's incredible to have God on my side! I've also realized that He allows for things to be taken away from us, to go a certain way (not like we planned) to give us something better, to shape us into better individuals. And you know what - it's worth it! I recently started reading biographies of really great heroes throughout history, and you know what - they all had difficult lives but these things shaped their principals and values and pushed them to press on harder in life, to live each day in DIGNITY and INTEGRITY! Those people made history and shaped society as we know it today. I don't know about you Jerome, but I want to be one of those people I don't want to be a mediocre average percentage. I want to make a difference in our time. Jerome I encourage you to find a church near you, or if not, then check out this site - www.timessquarechurch.org They have great messages to listen to, just go under "Sermons" and you can download or listen online for free. Anyway, sorry my post turned out to be "a bit" lengthy, haha, but I really want to encourage you to NOT give up, not matter what. Press on with life Jerome, you'll see, one day you'll look back and have a story to tell with a smile!
I will be praying for you my friend! Cheers!
~Kate
God never lets up, he rides your rear-end and doesn't stop. I'm 30 yrs old and he is still constantly pursing me, giving everything I don't want and keeping everything I do enjoy far from me. Life
s a bitch adn then me die so
Amen
aka "fuck it"
Post a Comment