RESTRICTED AND OUT OF BOUNDS

Many people ask me why i never ask for help?
well really sometimes when u ask for help your met with more judgement
from so called samaritans of good favour, so up their own ass
with self righteous bullshit.
Why help only to find your so fustrated by how much lack the damsel has
Why help if a persons weaknesses only cause you to anger
Why help when you know you `ll lose a friend forever
Today someone asked me " what have you been up to and how are you?"

so i said " There is a change in my life, a new JOb and a new social circle. "

And thi person goes, " what was the trigger for this change in your social circle?"

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!!! goodness..... so fucking STUPID!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
New job means new friends la DUMB ASS!

I should try to forget
Having you is bigger
I should try to regret
Having you is better

When All else fails you
and i
I rest a smile on your forehead
Hurt will watch you grow
With you i will not have known
I love you

How its gonna be?

Work for a week, i find everything i always wanted to have in arms reach
yet i fumble and i know i`m not like most not that i`m any more special
My mind is always weak and i always hear these voices that tell me i`m gonna fail
I don`t know who i can trust anymore
Show me a friend some time
someone i can really trust
there is more to thise life than i initially percieved
more to this journey it is not over...
i thought to myself if i were to die today would i regret anything
i would prolly but my life has been ok... cosidering how fucked up life is for everyone anyway..
ok i`m no one to speak so generically about everyone
but seriously my faith in God in Jesus is so weak now
i cling onto only a simple prayer i say on my way to work

am i angry? yes i am
am i sad? yes i am
am i gonna give up? i don`t ahve a choicwe but to move on
and i will move on....as heavy as these baggages are i have to
I do`nt wnat anythign to do with people who only speak of themsleves
piss off please leave me alone i`m gonna get used to to going homeafter work and playing guitar
what a nerd i am watching spiderman and playing my guitar shit!
no i noe when i`m durnk isay stupid shit like ho whot i think i am... but really i noe am not
i`m insecure i`m jaded i`m wasted
I`M SO FUCKING SICK!! OF GIRLS FUCKING TELLING ME SHIT AND ISSUES THEY HAVE WITH THEIR BF!!! PLS STOP IT!! ITS ALWAYS THE SAME OL SHIT!!
i seriosuly dun have time for that seriously fuck it... can`t deal with your bf fuck it dun come whinning to me...CB


i am drinking and i am smoking..... oh well like anyone actually read s this! which is prolly good cuz in the end you only have yourself

Nothing sets me apart

Hollow you surround
I`d venture a little more
but i am afraid
You might pull me in with that gaze
Luring me, my desire pasted with greed
Could my plea be anymore pretencious
Nothing sets me apart
The same as my enemies
The same as the things i hate
i have become them

The common advocation for the correct
Beckons me, Tempts me
And i reply with utmost bitterness
The will be no remorse or a need to explain
my actions
I`ll be drenched in your tears
For is`nt love what you feared

Jerome

PERFORMING

There comes a time
2 mins to slide a piece metal in my hand
my throat opens up
and i belt
like my life depended on it
an addict to chaos
i can`t slow down
all i feel is all thats infront of me
its all a blur
its all a show
its all for nothing
if i don`t mean every single second of it
So feel this five folded fist
This mouth won`t remain shut
I`ll break this silence once and for all

MURAL AT YOUTH CENTRE

yesterday Charlene and i did an awesome mural painting at the youth centre in orchard road. We kinda smoked our way through the whole process, BUT! WE NAILED IT! the mural look so yummy like creamy icing on a cake, like something right out of an alice in wonderland old school childrens book! check it out! --- >

UnDone

i am unsteady

are you real

i dance along an edge

this is a threat to my very existence

hold my head up high

i jump

but i`ll never land

a bed of roses

with blood stained sheets

my love

everything has come undone

This night tells me

The streaks of light in the sky

Assure us of glorious ascend

So cold so alone is this very place

Called My sanctuary

Or has my mind taken reality too far

In here my dreams surround everything

And on these clouds I`m sure

That all of my baggage is not my burden to carry anymore

So ordinary am I not a stranger to The past that

hangs over me, like halos on angels

a yearning buries its hope in the ground

To be free and to be whole again

with every shadow i can hear yout breathing

with each hint of glory I know your near me

if this is the new moon i`d rather burn in the sun

Insomia

Insomia Insomia all because i miss you
Every monday night i don`t sleep its becoming so predictable

i`m praying for you still

GOD GIVE ME A BREAK!

I normally don`t post anything personal here besides my own art work..
BUt i really need to rant now..

these past 6 months has been nothing but a bitch, yes a bitch despite having met many awesome people. I realise deep inside i am still the same ol kid still searching for love. I look for it in the wrong places, recently i have had my heart dragged through a blood smeared nail pool.. my business partner backstabbed me, my ex gf turned out to be a fucking liar, lost my bestfriend, my boss is thinking of firing me, lost $ 20 000, the girl of my dreams just is`nt interested in me. So please give one good reason why i sould leave mylife in the mercy of a knife. LOSERVILLE IS WHERE I LIVE MAN! GOD GIVE ME A BREAK!! HELP!!

25 years old this year, no ambition, no money, no luck, no love, no looks. I should really becom a monk, since no one really wants to be with me anyways. Yes lame, i am lame so fucking lame i should take part in the handicapped olympics, something is seriously wrong with me man. Maybe i was dropped on my head when i was given birth to, i seriously dun think i can make it anymore. Whatis hope? fabrication? i really wonder is this concept a crutch for the wounded and afflicted. Jesus if your real than save me, if you have any use of me of this useless piece of crap than i guess you know how to use me. If not just end my life, i`m a waste of space. a BIG FUCK UP.

some new owrk i did in progress titled: She said Hello